Why Natural Leaders Win

The most extraordinary thing happened to me this weekend. I validated myself as a natural-born leader. I didn’t mean to. It was a total accident. But I have never felt more sure of my abilities to lead.

I’ve been overloaded with leadership books recently (not complaining). They have all contained instances of why followers follow. They follow because they trust/like/enjoy/admire the person. I’ve experienced a few of them, slightly, but never like this. This was like a huge punch in the face (but it didn’t hurt). It was like the Leadership Gods came down and said “Hey Diana, what’s up? Congratulations on finally proving yourself as a natural leader. You can now be part of our very exclusive club. Way to go. Have a cocktail.”

In my experience this past weekend, I found that I emerged as a leader because of a few different things. Let’s explore:

So all the Apple Campus Reps from around the country (about 30 of us) congregated in Cupertino this weekend for some training and development. It was great. For some reason, my personality was especially vibrant. I was making friends, cracking jokes, etc. I was engaging everyone in the room, having a grand ole time. The first day was a lot of presentations and discussion groups. I made sure to let my opinions be known but also fully immersed myself in what everyone else was saying. I was thoroughly enjoying myself. And everyone was enjoying the hell out of me. They were saving seats for me, waiting for me to walk with them, wanting me to be a part of their groups, etc. I just assumed it was because I was so fun (and so beautiful–there were only like four girls in the entire group.) Now, let me make something clear. I don’t know people’s names. I just don’t. I could go through my entire life and only know like 15 names. It’s just how I am. This was not the case with everyone else. They all knew me. They all loved me.

The second day was a lot of problem solving and group work. I walked in with the same casual swagger, just happy to be there. I leaned back in my seat, engaged in some witty banter, and listened to the directions. A problem was presented to us. Time to solve. And all of as sudden, no joke, every eye in the room turns to me. “Well, Diana, what do we do?” And of course, because I’m constantly eating that humble pie, I responded by slouching in my seat and putting my arms up in defense: “Woah, woah, what? Why me? I didn’t sign up to be your leader. Why don’t you guys figure it out? Why do I have to make decisions?” And that’s when it happened. That’s when the fog lifted and the spotlight settled on my face. The angels started singing. I figured it out. Well, my fellow rep, named Cohen, figured it out for me. Cohen responded so bluntly, but so truthfully:

“Of course we’re following your lead. Why wouldn’t we? We’ve been following you since Thursday. Haven’t you noticed?”

WHAT? Holy shit. He’s right. These people liked me. They enjoyed me. They trusted me. They saw how much I LOVE Apple. My obsession with the products and the company had shone through. I had gained credibility. I had displayed authentic leadership.

I didn’t walk into the weekend with my nose in the air saying “Alright…I’m going to make these people love me so that I can then tell them what to do. They are my minions. I am their god. All will praise me.” I instead walked in with an easygoing attitude, interested not in getting ahead, but in learning and enjoying myself. I wanted to make friends. I wanted to become a better Apple employee. The fact that I emerged as a leader was just icing on the cake. So what did I learn?

Leadership cannot be forced. Your followers need to WANT to follow you.

Leading isn’t about telling people what to do. It’s about engaging and facilitating.

To emerge as a leader, you cannot begin as a superior. You must be one with the group. (Think about Jack from Lost)

Your motives should be aligned with everyone else’s. Lead the group to success, rather than only looking out for yourself.

This was an invaluable experience for me. Why? Because my ego is now the size of Canada? No…It is because I learned so much about the company and how to be a better campus rep. I made a GREAT new group of friends and associates. I am now more motivated than ever to do my job. I reaffirmed my value as a great leader. And…the weather was great for my hair.

So the next time you walk into a conference with your chest puffed out and your nose high in the air, thinking “Look at all these little minions. They’re mine. I’m out for blood. It’s time to lead, baby.” Just stop it. Realize that you’re not a killer. You’re a team player. So shake some hands, get to know your associates. Make some jokes. Smile a little bit. Have some fun.

And if you’re meant to lead, you will. If you force it, people will only ignore you.